A Peek Inside Mordor: What republicans are up to this week

 We start with this asshole, Ken Cuccinelli. He's currently the Virginia Attorney General and the Republican candidate for governor in 2013. I called him an asshole because this man is OBSESSED with assholes. Really, he has devoted his tenure as Attorney General fighting to uphold Virginia's anti-sodomy laws. A crime to fuck, or get fucked in the ass, and good ol' butthole fiend Ken is fine with it. He is looking to replace Virginia's current governor, Bob McDonnell, and distance himself from his own involvement in the chicken dinner scandal. Ken Cuccinelli is a very corrupt tomato, who won the republican nomination for governor by forcing the vote to be taken by the census attending a republican convention, instead of everyday voters. Expect to see Ken lay off the gay word and only talk about taxes until he's elected, however, the RNC threw him quite the curveball a couple days ago when they told Ken that this man (below) is going to be his running mate. Holy shit, I'll bet Ken pooped himself.

This is Bishop Jackson, the new running mate for Ken Cuccinelli who was not chosen by Ken Cuccinelli. He was chosen by the RNC, and honestly, he may be the most right-wing person I've ever researched. He is anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-Obama, anti-any-religion-that-doesnt-love-jeebus. He also made this amazing video detailing the evils (his word, not mine) of Planned Parenthood, being a liberal, muslims, and democrats. Seriously, watch it. Seriously.

Let's stay in Virginia, and finish with Mark Obenshain, Virginia's republican senator. This unholy gremlin introduced legislation that would require, by law, for women to report their miscarriages TO THE MOTHERFUCKING POLICE. You know what happens if you don't call the police station and report your heavy flow? Jail time. Seriously. Don't republicans hate big government? Isn't the arrest and prosecution of women who have periods a really big government thing to do? What the fuck Virginia? I never thought that a purple state could evolve into....

Have a wonderful Memorial Day, and hug your kids.