Uncharted 3 Review

2005 was a very special year. I played Bioshock and the very first Mass Effect back to back that year, forever making me one of those annoying, "modern games need interactive stories" assholes. Since then, Uncharted has been a very large elephant sitting in my living room, mocking me, and disproving every piece of nonsense that fell out of my mouth. I have grown up a little, and I don't believe anymore that good games have any sort of predetermined criteria that they must meet in order to be considered amazing. Good games are good games, and each one is different. Uncharted has not one second of interactive story in the trilogy, and it is, without a doubt, one of the greatest video game franchises ever made. It belongs in the conversation with Mario and Final Fantasy, and Nathan Drake will win the day. There isn't anything you can do about it.

Uncharted's charm comes from it's ridiculousness. It seems like a mix between Indiana Jones and Death Wish. Drake hunts treasure all over the globe while fighting rich British women and their hired goons. The next time you play one of the Uncharted games, look for the following silly things;

-Nathan's ability to absorb bullets right into his skin

-Everything Drake touches explodes

-Everything Drake climbs breaks, and then he fucking climbs it anyway

-Drake always has the element of surprise, because the idiot enemies always assume he's dead

Besides being a superhero, Nathan Drake is also a world class parkour champion. In Uncharted 3, he jumpes from cargo box, to jeep, to tethered propane tank THAT ALL HANG MID-AIR OUT THE BACK OF A CARGO PLANE. I am poking slight fun here, but I do not critisize because that would mean I couldn't like Harrison Ford anymore. 

I had a blast with Unch3, shooting Europeans and mastering the stumble-run. The scope of this game is massive, and while I usually don't give two shits about graphics, they stand out here. French jungles, Arab deserts, they all feel real, even if what you're doing in them doesn't. The archaeologist in you will giggle when you unlock a door by way of some elaborate tile puzzle, and the Marcus Fenix in you will nod with manly respect everytime your sniper pistol blows the fuck out of some Brit. Loved this game.

Also, Elena Fisher is back, so that's reason enough to give it a glowing review. She's my flave.