Allow me to put down my phosphate and climb into my rocking chair to vent for a moment. See, back in my day, we had these things called "instruction manuals" that came with our video games. They were neat, with pages and pages of controls, maps, character bios and backstory info. You young assholes don't seem to care about the extra stuff that comes with your games, as evidenced by my copy of Watchdogs coming with absolutely no booklet whatsoever. No map. No redeemable code for something shitty. Nothing, except a flyer for Uplay, which is the value equivalent of snot. Look at my Dark Cloud manual, it's 49 pages long!
I'm 27, but I feel like I'm 50 years old sometimes. Look at this Watchdogs case, some games have cool reversible covers, (like Bioshock Infinite, or Mass Effect), but Watchdogs just gives you a beautiful view of the legal jargon and please don't sue us labels. This is insulting, you see, when I was a kid (I almost fell asleep typing that phrase) your games came with shit. Battletoads had a comic book in addition to it's fat manual, Pokemon games came with discounts to Nintendo power, and Persona 3's standard edition came with an art book and the soundtrack. Do you remember the Final Fantasy 7 and Final Fantasy 8 cases? They were incredible. Why have we strayed so radically from that?
Earthworm Jim's instruction booklet is 38 pages long, and even has an extra section for notes. I'm done shaking my fist and complaining about rock and roll now, it's time for my Mylanta.
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