Star Trek: The Review Of The Game About The Movie

I could never write a review of anything Star Trek objectively. The Enterprise and it's crew are too important to me, in addition to watching every series and every movie multiple times, I've spent countless hours sitting in silence just thinking about Trek. So when Star Trek for the 360 loads up, and I see how funny the graphics look, I don't really care. I'm standing on the bridge, yelling at Bones and asking Chekov questions that I already know the answer to so that he feels included. When I get in my first shootout, and I receive word that I have to put my laser cannon away and only stun my enemies, it doesn't really phase me, because the Spock/Kirk banter is making me giggle too much. The game keeps throwing problems at me, problems that I would hate other games for, but I barely noticed, because I'm playing in a universe I adore. I didn't notice for the first couple hours at least.

The problems turned out to be never-ending. So, the graphics are laughable sometimes, and having to only stun enemies for entire levels is infuriating. I grit my teeth and try to drown out the negative. "Look, it's Commodore Daniels! What a cameo!", I'll scream in my head as the game introduces it's joke of a stealth system. I tried so hard to appreciate the detail they put into the Enterprise while the satanic narrator explains to me that I have to scan everything in every room Metroid Prime style. This game really sucks, and not just because of it's mediocre copycatting of numerous other (superior) games, but because I think it sucks. If a guy like me, who would happily watch the pile of boring poop that was the tv show Boston Legal just because Shatner is in it hates your Star Trek game, then you've really accomplished something dreadful. I will finish it though, probably twice. It is a Trek game after all.