The Last of Us: Advice

It certainly has a lot of bells and fancy whistles dangling from it's fanny pack, but deep down The Last of Us is a resource management game. I went into the game completely blind, and while The Last of Us is amazing in almost every way, here's a couple of tips that I wish I knew before diving in.

1: Make Shivs a Priority

Do you remember how power nodes worked in Dead Space? It's the exact same system in The Last of Us. Shivs are super useful, they make a beautifully silent stealth takedown, and they can save you from a Clicker's insta-kill. However, parts to make a shiv become harder to find, especially later on, and you need a spare to open hidden treasure rooms. I missed two shiv rooms in a row because I decided to make nail bombs instead, having no idea how hard it would be towards the end to find the needed parts. 

2: Respect Your Flamethrower

You receive the flamethrower fairly early, but that is not an excuse to use it. The flamethrower is the most powerful gun you'll receive for the entire game, and it eats ammo quickly. Save it for Bloaters only, and when you squeeze the trigger, don't miss.

3: You're Stronger Than The Game Wants You To Think You Are

Although similar in many ways, The Last of Us is different than all other survival horror games in one huge way, you're quite capable of killing everything. Other than Clickers, there really isn't anything The Last of Us can throw at you that should make you nervous. Yes, the cutscene before this giant 1 vs 40 was intense, but if you calm down, and start looking around for patterns, you'll do fine. The Last of Us is very good at making you feel overwhelmed, but with a couple upgraded weapons and a nail bomb, you'll do just fine.

4: Hatchet 

Drop the leadpipe, the crowbar, the 2x4, the machete, and pick up the hatchet. It has five durability bars, and if a bad guy gets close, Joel will bury this beautiful melee weapon right into their clavicle. It saves ammo, kills quick, and lasts forever. Use it.

600 Degrees Fahrenheit?

If you were reading this blog during the last big release, then you'll remember that my favorite thing about Pokemon are the NPCs. Hilarious, sexually suggesting, and always poorly translated, I've got a couple from Y to share with you. Start with this guy above, in all pink, in a bar, saying that.

This Professor Augustine Sycamore, a shitty Oak substitute who decides to invite a bunch of children into his office for some useful life advice.

Also, something entirely unrelated, just take a look at Pansear's Y Pokedex entry;

This Pokémon lives in caves in volcanoes. The fire within the tuft on its head can reach 600°F.

600 degrees? I'm no scientist, (pretty close though), but I'm going to call bullshit on that one. 

Pokemon Y: Hour One

Pokemon Y arrived in the mail yesterday, and although I haven't had much time with it, I am in love with what I've seen so far. True, it isn't actually in 3D, which was kind of what we were lead to believe, but you can run diagonal! I guess you could also complain a little about how similar to every other title it is, with the same three type choices to start, the same mix of Bidoof/Pidgey/Normal Type/Bird Type in the first grass patch, and another starter tutorial forest to yawn through. However, there is one improvement that makes all of these little disappointments totally okay, YOU GAIN EXPERIENCE EVEN WHEN YOU CAPTURE A POKEMON. You read that right, it's like Nintendo wanted to reward us trainers with the sweetest gift of all, exp.

Pikachu is in the bore-forest, and is pretty hard to find. All of the npc's swear he's in there though, so keep looking. Pikachu is a good addition to a starting team, but what the fuck is this Play Nice bullshit? Where's my Quick Attack?

I picked Fennekin, but only because I really couldn't decide and I let Steph pick. I also got a special Torchick with mystery gift so I have DOUBLE FIRE. What could go wrong?

I'm having a great time, but I will admit that it isn't exactly what they promised. A lot of new improvements are there though, and before you get too mad, just remember, Pokemon used to look like this. Remember?

My Favorite Presidents

I have the "Greatest President Ever" conversation almost daily, and I love to hear what leaders my fellow Americans admire. I also like to keep a little tally in my head, keeping track of the names I hear most often. When asked who their favorite president is, I hear Clinton the most, Reagan frequently, and I even got a Nixon yesterday. Nixon! I took some time and narrowed my personal list to five, and while I respect every man who holds our highest office, these are five men who I truly look up to. I can't wait to teach my son all about them.

#5: LBJ

Lyndon's passage of the Civil Rights Act alone puts him on this list, but he also put into law the Voting Rights Act, The Elementary and Secondary Education act, the Higher Education Act, and his big Great Society Package, which founded Head Start, food stamps, medicare, and medicaid. He wrote the Economic Opportunity Act. He also wrote the biggest gun bill in federal history, The Gun Control Act of 1968. Johnson was the first liberal to really use the power of the presidency to drive home that strong Democratic belief that the government should strive to improve the quality of life for it's citizens. 24% of Americans lived at or below the poverty line when LBJ took office. It was 12% when he left. Our lives are all better, and a little more secure because of LBJ.

#4: IKE

Eisenhower is the lone Republican in my top five, but honestly, it wasn't the same party back then. Dwight gets my applause because unlike most liberals, I believe we do have a responsibility to protect and safeguard those countries that can't stand up for themselves. Ike really personified this. Dwight Eisenhower ended the war between China and Korea. He forced England, France and Israel to cease their invasion of Egypt. He made it a US policy to defend Taiwan. He stopped Lebanon from becoming a communist country. Eisenhower achieved all of this positive foreign change through diplomacy, not armed conflict. Yes, Ike did build a crazy amount of nukes, but he lamented this on his way out, warning future presidents about the dangers of massive military spending. He signed desegregation legislation for public schools, and civil rights voter protection. He also gave us our super-useful Interstate Highway System, kind of a big deal.

#3: Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter added two brand new cabinets-level departments, the Department of Energy, and the Department of Education. He's the reason we have price-controlled energy. He gave Panama their canal back. Before Carter, there was no option for life without parole for a capital crime conviction. He heads Habitat for Humanity (to this day) and won the Nobel Peace Prize for his humanitarianism. Also, do you like craft beer? Carter made that legal too.

#2: Bill Clinton

I was born in 87. Growing up, I remember always liking Clinton, but it wasn't until college that I started feeling inspired by him. What Bill managed to accomplish sandwiched between two Republican warhawk administrations is remarkable. I have lots and lots of philosophical reasons that I like Bill, and many moral/ethical reasons too, but I've found that listing the legislation that has had the most positive effect on America is argument enough.

The North American Free Trade Agreement, Welfare Reform, Family and Medical Leave Act, The Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, he expanded the Earned Income Tax Credit, State Children's Health Insurance, Adoption and Safe Families Act, and The Foster Care Independence Act. 

His changes to how our poor are treated by their own government is what I like most about Bill. 

#1: Barack Obama

Barack Obama is, in my opinion, the greatest leader the free world has ever known. American politics are my greatest interest, and I have yet to come across another leader with as much empathy as Obama. Forty-seven million Americans live at or below the poverty line, and all are one medical bill away from losing everything. Barack knows that this isn't sustainable, and that striving to improve the lives of your citizens is not an example of "entitlement", but of love. He has mixed kindness with governance, and I am enthusiastic about the legacy he will leave behind. When my son enters his early school years, I can't wait to toss aside those slave owning rapist founding fathers, and show him five examples of real American role models.

First Things First

I finally got my hands on The Last of Us, and I'm excited to play what IGN and Gametrailers gave perfect scores to. What's an early sign that a game is going to be good? An epileptic seizure warning before the game starts. Awesome.

Grand Theft Auto 5: Review

Big video game franchises seem to have so much trouble pleasing their fan bases these days. So many games that I used to have exuberant zeal for have lost me over the years. Zelda, Final Fantasy, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, they lost my money because of stubbornness. Zelda is always the same, Final Fantasy is a Kingdom Hearts G-rated circus, Resident Evil won't embrace a life after 4, and Silent Hill can't seem to find the next step that needs to be taken. All of these examples are game franchises that found a way to make money, then milked that formula to death. GTA almost fell victim to that. Almost.

GTA had a formula that regular players were starting to become aware of. You start with friends, make money with friends, then get betrayed by those friends. GTA3 had the Columbian gf, Vice City had Lance, San Andreas had Big Smoke, and 4 had everymotherfuckingbody. The difference with 5 is that, if you play your cards right, nobody betrays you, and you don't betray them. The entire game is one big loyalty test. You know immediately that the FIB will kill you as soon as you're done running errands for them, so you need to be ready. You know that the corrupt Whole Foods politician is going frame you, so you work as a team to turn the tables on him. The lovely change in GTA5 is that your core team will never turn on you, and as a team you work together to preemptively screw those who intend to screw you.

I wish there were more heists in the game. There are a total of 6, and it just isn't enough. I wanted a crew I could build long term, leveling and recruiting. The heists are so much fun, that I hope Rockstar acknowledges their accomplishment here and uses it in the future. The ending to GTA5 is so satisfying, finishing everything with your buddies, a much more positive feeling than when Big Smoke screws you over at the end of SA. 

HEIST DLC PLEASE!!!!

Bad Hotel

My never-ending quest to end iphone game hatred continues with Bad Hotel. Part tower defense, part music game, Bad Hotel is .99$ worth spending. You build your hotel as high as you can, installing guns and other defenses as bomb-shitting birds try to knock the tower down. 

Every piece you add to the tower adds a sound effect to the background song. As you can imagine, some levels have so many hotel floors that the music becomes insane. It's a lot of fun, and the anti-capitalist jokes are a unique little addition.

Bad Hotel sounds good, looks good, plays well, and has a very adult sense of humor. Get it, and stop hating on ios gaming. There are some really amazing experiments happening on the iphone, and their low price makes ios a legitimate gaming platform.