Tuesday, March 12, 2013

New pokemon are just old pokemon



 When I was first introduced to Pokemon, about 13 years ago, there were 151 Pokemon. There are now 649 different species of these catchable creatures, but I've been noticing, that these new Pokemon, are basically just rehashed versions of the original 151. 
Take Roggenrola and Geodude for instance. Both rock types, both have 3 stages of evolution, and both evolve into their final form by trading. Geodude evolves into Graveler at lvl 25 and Roggenrola evolves into Boldore at lvl 25 too. So...instead of putting Geodude in the new games, they just made a new Geodude.

 Back in  the day, Chansey didn't evolve. Chansey was a normal type with a shit ton of HP, and was typically used for healing and being a nurse. Then GameFreak decided that it would make sense to give Chansey a pre-evolution (Happiny), (ignoring the fact that Chansey being an evolved Pokemon this entire time would be impossible due to the fact that SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE NOTICED A HAPPINY A LONG FUCKING TIME AGO THE POKEMON UNIVERSE HAS VIDEO CALLING, A POKEBALL TECHNOLOGY THAT TURNS ANIMALS INTO MICROSCOPIC VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES WHILE ALSO SUSTAINING THEIR BODIES SO THAT THEY DONT NEED WATER, AIR, FOOD OR THE NEED TO DISPENSE WASTE WHILE THEY ARE IN POKEBALLS SO SOMEBODY AT SOME POINT WOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT CHANSEY WAS AN EVOLVED FORM OF A PREVIOUS POKEMON YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOTS), and a post-evolution (Blissey). Along with these two new forms of the same Pokemon, they also introduced Audino in the new games, a technically unrelated species, that has a shit ton of HP and works as a nurse in Pokemon centers.

 So, every Pokemon trainer who has spent 5 minutes in a cave hates Zubats. They use supersonic and make getting through the dark complexes a nightmare. Spending money on repels and always keeping an electric type in the first slot are a necessity. So, knowing how much we all fucking hate Zubat, the Pokemon team got rid of him, and filled their caves with Woobat, a bat that uses supersonic and has a weakness for electricity. It's not the same thing! I swear!


(sigh.)

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