Hey there impressionable mind, do you reject the christian fairytale? Me too! Believe it or not, the video game industry has a huge history of poking fun at teh jeebus, and I have collected my favorite examples. These games can be enjoyed even if you do thump a bible, but if you're an atheist, you'll enjoy them so much more, I promise.
Silent Hill 3
I'm going to spoil this 50 year old game, so get ready. Heather, the protagonist, is impregnated by satan and must give birth to the antichrist. So, how do you show the devil you're still in charge? Well, YOU EAT YOUR OWN FETUS AT THE END OF THE GAME. You'd think Luke would approve of that kind of behavior, but it kinda pisses him off. Not only does SH3 make you eat your own devil fetus, it's also chocked full of creepy churches, violent nuns (that you get to beat to death with crowbars, awesome), and creepy catholic confessionals with creepy ministers who say creepy things to the teenager you're playing as.
Final Fantasy 10
This entire game is a metaphor for catholicism, Hironobu himself admitted it. The church of Yevon is corrupt, murderous, and hell bent on punishing the world with sin, (literally, the cities of the world are constantly attacked by a massive whale-fish-plot twist human named Sin). Seriously, a huge fish named Sin kills people who don't follow the church properly. Seriously.
Act Raiser
It's Sim City mixed with Golden Axe, and you play as God. Actual, motherfucking aids-creating God. And you punish those who don't believe by burning non-church goers and rewarding those who telepathically pray to you. It's a classic.
Wild Arms
One of the greatest rpg's ever made, Wild Arms is all about the power of individual human beings. Set in a weird parallel industrial revolution, the three main characters discover that there really are gods, and that they are omni-present and powerful. So what do you do now that the heavens have been revealed? You enslave those godly motherfuckers and force them to eradicate your enemies. Fuck yeah, man wins.
Parasite Eve
So you're a rookie NYPD police officer who wants to make a big splash with your career. You really want to make a difference, and do some good for a change. Then, your opportunity comes when you discover that a perfect child named Eve is going to be born in six days, and will act as the new world's messiah. So, with your ideology and a machine gun, you hunt the bitch down and pour thousands of bullets into her holy fucking face showing god that you don't like taking orders from others. Hallelujah.
Love it, and love all of these awesome games.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good summary of those games with a humorous spin to it, especially the description of FFX when you actually think about what happens in the game. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI like to poke fun at Tidus and crew, but that narrative is truly fantastic, plus water soccer.
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