I was sick yesterday, and I went to work anyway. It was tough, I had a slight fever and a disgusting cough. I realized that I shouldn't have gone to work, but it was far too late to leave. One thing gave me the strength I needed to finish my shift despite my illness; the pint of Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler that I was going to pick up on the way home.
I arrive at my local grocer, sweating from the fever, coughing up clem and swallowing it again. I stumble down the ice cream isle, disoriented, confused, looking desperately for my fellow southern mid-westerner's delicious ice cream. The case is full of all the usual flavors, Chunky Munkey, Cherry Garcia, Americone Dream, but the peach cobbler is nowhere to be found. I search for a good 5 minutes, having a stare-down with an old lady who thought it was her business to find out why I was in the ice cream isle for so long. Nothing. I pull out my cellular telephone, and hit up google. Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler has been discontinued due to poor sales.
This means that my favorite ice cream flavor doesn't exist anymore, and it's your fault. I did my part, I probably had a pint a week of that peach chunkiness, but you didn't. You have ripped from me the last lingering piece of comfort I had, the one treat that airplanes me away from my chaotic life as a father of two kids who have the energy of Cerberus himself. Willie Nelson's ice cream was in my hand when Obama was elected, I was eating his ice cream when the Knicks got Melo, and when Herman Cain said "Uzbekky bekky stan stan". I'll miss you Willie, and your 1200 calories in one sitting adventures.
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