Monday, September 8, 2014

I Find It Impossible To Hate Amazon


I don't typically like corporations. If a single store or small chain sells something I need, I will gladly pay a little extra so that Walmart doesn't get any of my money. Just like a good liberal, I look into the practices and history of companies that I intend to buy from, and weigh whether or not I can ethically live with myself for supporting them. I shop at Target frequently despite their hazy past because of all the charity they do, and my childhood neighborhood in Chicago has directly benefitted from their donations. I don't eat at Chic-Fil-A (I have once) because of the way they shit on their employees, refuse full-time positions so that they can dodge health insurance, and their CEO hates queers. Yes, they do a lot for the community, but it's a list of pros and cons, and the cons are numerous.

Amazon is another company that my fellow bleeding Democrat vaginas have been screaming at me to stop patronizing. I understand that they have taken over American retail as we know it and are secretly investing in a drone delivery idea, but Amazon is too convenient to hate. I know it makes me an enormous hypocrite, but for fuck's sake, the Destiny PS4 bundle I bought yesterday will be on my doorstep TOMORROW. The PS4 Destiny bundle isn't released until tomorrow, and Amazon can have it in my house on the exact day it comes out. For free. 

Can Target's online service do this? Sure, but the overnight shipping would be a 30$ charge. Amazon included the delivered-the-day-of-release shipping option for free because they know nobody else can offer that. Yes, that is corporate strong-arming but holy shit is it convenient for me. Just like every hard-working tax-paying American, my morals are only preceded in importance by my money. 

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