My Patience Is Gone

I'm a few hours into the new Zelda for the 3DS, A Link Between Worlds, and this picture here has been the cause of much stress. You see, I was having trouble figuring out how to get inside the 2nd light world dungeon in the middle of Lake Hylia. I explored every adjacent screen, tried a million times to hookshot my way there, or find a clear patch of wall for 2D access, but no luck. I talked to the random Zora guy above a few times, not realizing that I needed to painting-walk across the gap he is staring at. I was pulling my hair out, pissed off and refusing to let the internet guide me in any way. I had lost my patience and finally gave in, slapping my chubby face as soon as I learned how easy the solution to my problem was. There is a truth here that haunts me a little, and thats the fact that when I was a little kid, this problem would not have phased me.

This is a picture of an epic boss battle in Lunar: Silver Star Story. I remember this fight very vividly, because I fought it hundreds of times in a row. You see, in Lunar, one single stat point can mean the difference between victory and defeat, and every boss battle can be up to an hour long. Lunar is a hardcore JRPG, that forces you to try and try again until preparation, memorization and luck finally pay off. I could not win this fight now, I know that, but I did when I was 12. I do not believe that I am rusty, or that my reflexes have dulled with age, but I do admit that my patience has evaporated.

This is the famous mine cart level from Donkey Kong Country, and that is the hardest jump in the whole fucking game. Responsible for a million game overs, this level is frustrating, cheap, and really, really long. I beat this level when I was a tiny child, but only after hours, and hours of rinsing and repeating. There is a duplicate level in the new Donkey Kong Country Returns for the Wii, and I quit after the 3rd death. It's a timing issue, the jump is so difficult because your instincts about when to press B are wrong. I can figure that problem out with enough tries, but I simply don't have the patience for it anymore.

So I got my flippers and I'm ready to continue on in Zelda, but this tiny little snag in my forward progress made me think about that old retro vs modern gaming argument. Games aren't just different these days because of looks, the fundamentals have changed, but so have we. I will never have to brave another brutal JRPG like Lunar again, because companies don't do that anymore. Games have changed, not because our swords have dulled, but because our patience stayed behind with our child selves. The lesson to be learned from all of this? TELL ME THAT I NEED THE FUCKING FLIPPERS BEFORE GOING TO THE 2ND DUNGEON INSTEAD OF BEING ALL GAY VAGUE ABOUT IT.