Monday, August 19, 2013

Cyclops vs Wolverine


I hate Wolverine. He's one of these heroes who benefit from over-exposure, and gains the enthusiasm of the casual fan. Wolverine is beloved because he's considered cool, but not by serious Marvel Zombies or avid comic book readers, but by Call of Duty jocks and perpetrators of domestic violence. I want to talk about why he's a fraud, a clown, and a waste of your time. I want to talk about why Cyclops is the best character Marvel has to offer, and why you should be spending your precious nerd money on Scott Summers, not James Howlett. Here's a list of the big reasons why Cyclops is better than Wolverine.

1. Cable

Everyone loves Cable. The Cable and Bishop arcs are among the most celebrated Marvel comics ever, and he's just an all around good character. He also happens to be Scott Summers's son, so if you happen to like Cable (which you do), then you must thank Cyclops for shooting him out in the first place. Thanks Scott!



2. Wolverine Loses Fights Like, All The Time

Wolverine can't fight, at least not on the level of others that he shares a team with. Sabretooth beats him on the regular, so does Deadpool, Lady Deathstrike, Cyber, Magneto and Omega Red, (Omega Red and Logan have fought one on one ten times and douche-claws lost every time). If Wolverine did not possess the ability to never fucking die, then he would be fucking dead. A thousand times over.



3. Wolverine Is A Pedophile

Wolverine was born in the late 1880's, Jean Grey most certainly was not. If you watch X-men Evolution, you can watch in horror as Logan suavely hits on an 18 year old Jean while driving her to and from high school. I understand it isn't illegal, but a 130 year old actively chasing and falling in love with a teenager? You Wolverine fanboys are really okay with that? Is that a guy you really admire? 


4. Professor X Chose Cyclops To Be Captain Of The Blue Team

There are a lot of Cyclops haters out there, people who say outlandish things like, "Jean should be with Logan, not Scott!", or "Wolverine should be captain of the X-men, not smelly Cyclops." To all of those who don't agree with Cyclops being in a position of leadership, I ask you this, do you question Professor X's judgement? It's his team, his direction, and his goddamn house. Professor Xavier has saved every human being on the planet earth, multiple times, and has defeated villain after villain by staying dozens of steps ahead of them. He is beyond a genius level intelligence, and with a squad consisting of heroes like Beast and Archangel, X chose Cyclops to lead his blue team. Who knows better than Xavier? Nobody does.


5. Cyclops's Resume

Just because Cyclops doesn't splatter his muscled body all over the cover of every issue of X-men, doesn't mean that he hasn't defeated villains. In fact, his resume of bad guys downed is incredibly impressive. For clarification, this is a list of villains that Scott has defeated in one on one combat. Just read it, and decide for yourself.

-Jack O' Diamonds
-Magneto
-Blob
-D'Spayre
-Shadow King
-Omega Red
-Caliban
-Ord of the Breakworld
-Bishop
-Hulk (out of control)
-Leper Queen
-Black Queen
-Juggernaut
-Mr. Sinister

There you have it. Change your mind, and be a smarter, more respected comic book fan by rejecting popular culture's obsession with the super shitty Wolverine.

3 comments:

  1. I really gotta say you've written some bull abt wolverine, a lot of it one-sided. Here's what i gotta say.

    Abt wolverine gettin owned. yes, hes been beaten by a couple of ppl. but he himself has beaten a couple of powerful, respected loved ppl in Marvel himself. Hes beaten Captain America once. yes Cap may be a seasoned veteran and a super soldier. but Wolverine has had more fighting experience than Cap in terms of years, plus hes a trained Samurai and a trained assassin as well.
    also, as for Sabretooth, yeah hes been beaten by him a couple of times (especially on birthdays, i just call those the birthday bashes). But for the record Wolverine has beaten Sabretooth at his birthday party. whats even better abt it, Sabretooth invited a lot of powerful villains, secret societies, and well-known assassins to his party. Guess what, Sabertooth was the last one he took down at the party, but first wolverine bashed the shit outta every single one of those ppl invited. Even Mystique was among them.
    Wolverine's healing factor, my friend, is a part of who wolverine is when he was created.even vampires fear Wolverine, cuz their vamp bites have no effect on him cuz of his stronger healing factor. his healing factor is actually so fucking strong it can heal even his most fatal wound in an instant, but its the adamantium slowin it down cuz its toxic to his body and the healing factor is constantly healing the toxic damage done by the adamantium. after magneto took the adamantium out of him, Wolverine was more formidable than ever and was totally kickin ass...till magneto put the metal back in him again. even the adamantium fusion came much much much later in his life. before that, the healing factor is what makes him willing to take risks which no normal person, mutant or superhero takes, and therefore he goes on more daring encounters than a lot of the others.

    Well, you say that Professor X trusted Cyclops when he made him leader. Id say if cyclops led the X-Men, then even Wolverine led the X-Force. it was initially under Cyclops' orders he did that, but he did it on his own accord even after he parted ways with Cyclops and the X-Men. During that period he rebuilt another learning Institute for mutants on the professer's property, and was the school headmaster. WHen he decided to do this, a lot of the mutant students and x men members actually joined him eg. Kitty Pryde, and even Bobby Drake and Hank McCoy who were the founding members of the original X-men team. All these people actually willing to follow him in this decision actually shows that these ppl trusted Wolverine as a leader. Even Charles Xavier trusted in him as a leader and a teacher...if he didn't, he wouldnt have provided wolverine with his property to build the school on.
    Anyways, Cyclops may have been leader of the XMen, but wolverine still has more experience than him cuz hes been in more superhero teams than cyclops. While cyclops remained ever stuck to the xmen; Wolverine has been with the Avengers, Hard 7 (he led them), Apocolypse's Horsemen, New Defenders, Confederacy of Dunces, and many many more.

    You call Wolverine a pedophile. Well, no matter how old he is, hes still alive and young-looking, plus hes a human(mutant wtv) who is prone to fall in love . SO mow you say just cuz hes so much older than other women, he doesnt have the right to love em? ha ha ha soooo funny. Plus, its not like his love for the women hes in a relationship is one-sided, even they love him. you think they give a flying fuck abt how old he is? no. i may probably sound dramatic here, but there IS no age for falling in love. -_-

    Look bud, i aint a cyclops hater alright, i respect him and hes a smart guy who's cool in his own way. I dunno abt the other assholes out there who call Cyclops is a sucker and love Wolverines. In my personal opinion i think he cool so im not gonna disagree with you abt him being cool. BUT in my opinon, that doesnt mean that Wolverine is lame or anything or a total sucker.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read what I wrote, and then refute me so thoroughly.

      I don't hate Wolverine as much as my post suggests, I have just always liked Cyclops more and was making an exaggerated point. If I force myself to be honest and realistic, then yes, I will admit that the Wolverine/Sabertooth fights are unique and epic parts of comic book history. If I'm being truthful, then I concede that Wolverine is in fact a pretty good hero who generally has a great writer behind his stories. However, I have to disagree with you on the age thing, I have a daughter, and when she is 18, if her new boyfriend was alive during the Civil War, I'd have something to say about it.

      I hope you stick around and read some more of my stuff, I'd love to debate about it.

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    2. Well, sir, I dunno what to say regarding what you said abt your daughter. I guess I'm inclined to agree with you on that point. No sane man would want that for his daughter... What I meant to say previously is that: nobody has the right to judge Logan's relationships with women. Not you, not I nor anyone else. That's something that's just up to fate. That's all, and yeah I'd definitely look forward to reading more of your articles. :)

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